The dentist sucks

In order to make a new mother happy, I have a story for ya.

A couple of days ago I took the girls to the dentist for their check-ups. There are a few things that drive me nuts about a dentist's office. The first thing is that the decor in the waiting room just looks expensive. The chairs are very comfortable, the paintings and artwork are stunning. The carpet always looks brand new. The bar where the receptionists sit has a granite countertop. You just get the feeling that this going to an expensive visit every time you walk in. The least they could do is make it look like you might get out of there for less than a grand.

The next is that they could have just a little something for the kids. I realize that they hand out toothbrushes, but they claim that they are a family dentist office. A TV wouldn't kill anyone. The auto repair shop has one and it's not a family auto repair shop. No, they have nothing, so when the Category 4 hurricane that is my son made landfall at the office (with no TV), it was not a good thing. The upside is that they will get you in and out in a hurry.

The girls were the only ones getting teeth cleanings and X-rays done, so they took them at the same time. These are not dumb people. Conner had crawled under a chair and reappeared in between some high school girl's legs, popped his head up and just said "Hello." After that incident, it was all about getting the storm to move on.

Abbey's appointment went well. No cavities, but some fragments of baby teeth hanging around. They will be pulled next week. The dentist, receptionist and her parents have told her that it will be very little pain before, during and after. When this is proven to be a load of crap, which it is, look out Winston-Salem.

Maggie's appointment sucked. This is not a term that you will hear a dentist use. They should, but they don't. Not a lot of humor in a dentist's office. Maggie has no cavities but is missing 7 adult teeth. I saw the X-ray and the damn things just aren't there. So when the baby teeth fall out, she is out of luck for a natural replacement. She will be in braces early to move some teeth forward and will have implants for the spaces that can't filled.

I talked to the dentist for several minutes about this, and I asked him to ballpark the overall cost. He was thinking 12 grand give or take. For the love of god, our car and van aren't worth that.

The last thing that you do before you leave is write the check. It's normally a big check, and to make matters worse, they insist on making another apppointment for the girls so that they can get another check-up. Someone has to pay for the Queen Anne chair and one-of-a-kind Andy Warhol.

One of our kids had better be a dentist or we have to find a dentist willing to do work at cost.