Conner is obsessed with Slash (the lead guitartist of Guns N' Roses and now Velvet Revolver - don't worry, I had to look up the second part).
We've had to listen to "Welcome to the Jungle" enough that I can't stand the song anymore. He'll listen to "Sweet Child of Mine" sometimes, but you're not allowed to sing along - Slash doesn't like that.
Conner plays air guitar or uses pieces of wood, Nerf guns, whatever, as his guitar. He's already planning to be Slash for Halloween.
Yesterday, he announced that he is going to form his own band. The name: Love Handle.
He says he'll be the one in the purple hat.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Golf, chipmunks and ice cream
For your reading pleasure: another batch of e-mails from Pat.
Jan. 3, 2008
Conner is a little confused about the terms used in golf. He was in the yard with his driver, and he was hitting plastic golf balls. The neighbors really like that we switched to these. He was hitting them pretty well. Each time he hit, he was taking a PGA-style divot. We're not even going to get into the fact that the driver isn't supposed to dig into the ground.
After he finished removing the sod from the yard, he told me, "Look, Dad, I made little tunnels." I told him that those were divots, and he explained to me that these were tunnels. He even went so far as to tell me that I am wrong. He used those exact words: YOU ARE WRONG.
I really appreciate you passing on the gene that makes you right in your own mind even when you are completely wrong. I also love the gene that you passed to him that gives him the ability to make you wonder whether he's right and that all these years I've been wrong. When he gets older, some woman will fix that for him.
It also doesn't help that Abbey and Maggie took his side on this one. As payback to them, I am serving vegetables only for dinner.
Jan. 14, 2008
To date, I am still cooler than you. As we were driving home from the Brownies meeting -- where, by the way, I was the only male in attendance. That was truly the estrogen ocean. I swear that I think I got a dirty look from one of the mothers just for being a man in a group of women. The troop leader was trying to make all the moms feel good and repeated several times that the girls will be safe on the upcoming camping trip. My first reaction was that Maggie will be safer there. Everytime she enters this house she is in danger of an injury of somekind. This is a vacation from being in this nutso house.
Back to the orginial story. We were listening to Radio Disney and Alvin and Chipmucks were singing the "Witch Doctor" song, and I knew all the words. The girls were very impressed, or at least Maggie was. I think that I have entered the "My Dad is an embarrassment" stage with Abbey. I explained to them that the Chipmunks have been around a while. This did not help me at all. Now I'm an embarrassment and old. Conner was just dancing in his carseat like the Caddieshack gopher.
You are the leader of your team at work and the leader of this house. Your children and your husband look up to. But until you can sing all the verses of "The Witch Doctor," you are second fiddle when it comes to being cool in this house. By the way, it goes "Ooh ee ooh aa aa ting tang walla walla bing bang." Here is a link so that this will be in you head for the rest of the night.
http://tinyurl.com/n6pfsh
Feb. 28, 2008
I don't know this for a fact, but I would bet that the founder of Anheuser-Busch and Miller Brewing had at least one daughter.
March 18, 2008
Your hidden inventory of Klondike bars has been found. Not by me but by the boy.
He was completely unimpressed with the entrees that I presented for this afternoon's feeding. So he got a chair from the kitchen table and took it to the freezer. He moved several things, and when he found the Klondike bars, he yelled for me to come here. He pointed to them and told me, "See, we got some."
I told him that those were Mommy's and he then told me, "It's OK, she loves me." He doesn't seem to care that you will not love me if he eats them. He is fine with that.
How do I know this, you ask? He is in the living room with two of them as we speak. I asked him if we should share with the girls, and he said no. He then took the box and placed it back under the frozen pizzas. Hidden from the girls.
I can hear the chair going back to the freezer, so I had better go so I at least get one.
Jan. 3, 2008
Conner is a little confused about the terms used in golf. He was in the yard with his driver, and he was hitting plastic golf balls. The neighbors really like that we switched to these. He was hitting them pretty well. Each time he hit, he was taking a PGA-style divot. We're not even going to get into the fact that the driver isn't supposed to dig into the ground.
After he finished removing the sod from the yard, he told me, "Look, Dad, I made little tunnels." I told him that those were divots, and he explained to me that these were tunnels. He even went so far as to tell me that I am wrong. He used those exact words: YOU ARE WRONG.
I really appreciate you passing on the gene that makes you right in your own mind even when you are completely wrong. I also love the gene that you passed to him that gives him the ability to make you wonder whether he's right and that all these years I've been wrong. When he gets older, some woman will fix that for him.
It also doesn't help that Abbey and Maggie took his side on this one. As payback to them, I am serving vegetables only for dinner.
Jan. 14, 2008
To date, I am still cooler than you. As we were driving home from the Brownies meeting -- where, by the way, I was the only male in attendance. That was truly the estrogen ocean. I swear that I think I got a dirty look from one of the mothers just for being a man in a group of women. The troop leader was trying to make all the moms feel good and repeated several times that the girls will be safe on the upcoming camping trip. My first reaction was that Maggie will be safer there. Everytime she enters this house she is in danger of an injury of somekind. This is a vacation from being in this nutso house.
Back to the orginial story. We were listening to Radio Disney and Alvin and Chipmucks were singing the "Witch Doctor" song, and I knew all the words. The girls were very impressed, or at least Maggie was. I think that I have entered the "My Dad is an embarrassment" stage with Abbey. I explained to them that the Chipmunks have been around a while. This did not help me at all. Now I'm an embarrassment and old. Conner was just dancing in his carseat like the Caddieshack gopher.
You are the leader of your team at work and the leader of this house. Your children and your husband look up to. But until you can sing all the verses of "The Witch Doctor," you are second fiddle when it comes to being cool in this house. By the way, it goes "Ooh ee ooh aa aa ting tang walla walla bing bang." Here is a link so that this will be in you head for the rest of the night.
http://tinyurl.com/n6pfsh
Feb. 28, 2008
I don't know this for a fact, but I would bet that the founder of Anheuser-Busch and Miller Brewing had at least one daughter.
March 18, 2008
Your hidden inventory of Klondike bars has been found. Not by me but by the boy.
He was completely unimpressed with the entrees that I presented for this afternoon's feeding. So he got a chair from the kitchen table and took it to the freezer. He moved several things, and when he found the Klondike bars, he yelled for me to come here. He pointed to them and told me, "See, we got some."
I told him that those were Mommy's and he then told me, "It's OK, she loves me." He doesn't seem to care that you will not love me if he eats them. He is fine with that.
How do I know this, you ask? He is in the living room with two of them as we speak. I asked him if we should share with the girls, and he said no. He then took the box and placed it back under the frozen pizzas. Hidden from the girls.
I can hear the chair going back to the freezer, so I had better go so I at least get one.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Not just a pretty face
This evening after we finished dinner, we decided that a game of touch football was in order. For the record, Cathy is working the late shift tonight.
The teams were boys against girls. Now, before we continue, I must tell you that we are a very competitive family, and these games get ugly in a hurry.
The game was going well for a couple of series. I told Abbey that she needed to get Maggie involved in the game. On the next play, Abbey tossed the ball to Maggie, and she threw a perfect pass to Abbey for a touchdown. This particular play is what is called a turning point in the game. Maggie was hyped up.
After Abbey kicked off, I received the ball and was looking to hand it off to Conner. Maggie came out of nowhere and dropped me like third-period French. I mean, she totally pancaked me.
My first reaction was to slap Abbey on the butt and say nice job, but it was Maggie. My next thought was to look around and make sure none of the neighbors saw it.
Maggie jumped up and said, "Gotcha, Dad!"
Maybe I won't need to buy a gun for the future boyfriends after all.
The teams were boys against girls. Now, before we continue, I must tell you that we are a very competitive family, and these games get ugly in a hurry.
The game was going well for a couple of series. I told Abbey that she needed to get Maggie involved in the game. On the next play, Abbey tossed the ball to Maggie, and she threw a perfect pass to Abbey for a touchdown. This particular play is what is called a turning point in the game. Maggie was hyped up.
After Abbey kicked off, I received the ball and was looking to hand it off to Conner. Maggie came out of nowhere and dropped me like third-period French. I mean, she totally pancaked me.
My first reaction was to slap Abbey on the butt and say nice job, but it was Maggie. My next thought was to look around and make sure none of the neighbors saw it.
Maggie jumped up and said, "Gotcha, Dad!"
Maybe I won't need to buy a gun for the future boyfriends after all.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Lordy, lordy ...
... Shelley's 40!
She's proving she's not old by running The Bear - a 5-mile run up Grandfather Mountain (http://www.hopeformarrow.org/bearinfo.htm) with Mark and Kim.
I'm impressed, but I will not be doing that on my 40th.
She's proving she's not old by running The Bear - a 5-mile run up Grandfather Mountain (http://www.hopeformarrow.org/bearinfo.htm) with Mark and Kim.
I'm impressed, but I will not be doing that on my 40th.
Oh, Conner
Conner's newest dessert creation: chocolate ice cream on a toasted hot dog bun. His favorite lunch lately: a pickle sandwich. Ugh. He has an iron stomach just like his dad.
I'll take responsibility for some of what comes out of his mouth, but not all of it.
* * *
I ran an errand last week and was gone for about 10 minutes. When I got back, he came into the kitchen and in his best Southern accent said, "Damn, that was fast."* * *
I got him a doughnut at Krispy Kreme last week, and when I handed him his bag, he opened it and said,"Holy crap! Awesome! Just what I wanted!"I'll take responsibility for some of what comes out of his mouth, but not all of it.
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